Lessons from New Surroundings

I'm at the annual Missouri Music Educators Conference at the Lake.  Its nice to have a new change of scenery and it is always awesome to mingle with like-minded folks.  That being said, I've seen some odd things including:
1.  A giant pickup with the license plate "LQQKIE".
2.  The largest women I have ever seen walking.
3.  A football the size of a lemon.
4.  An almost bald woman that obviously dyed her hair for this event because her scalp was colored too.
5.  Dance Moms.  I can't find the remote OR the button to change the channel on the TV.
6.  A sign that said "Eat Here or We'll Both Starve"