Lessons from the Best and Worth Month ever

So...with a dramatic title like that you are totally pulled in, right? L0L! YAY!

So the last 5 or 6 weeks have been a roller coaster ride of emotions. As some of you long time Tracy Said What fans (all one of you!) may remember. I have struggled with accepting my infertilty for a long time. We adopted an AMAZING baby 11 years ago and had always consider our family complete. Not that I didn't whine about how much I wanted to adopt AGAIN, but... it just didn't seem to be in the cards.

So not too long ago I hit my 150 pounds lost mark. Totally freaking awesome! I feel good. Stronger. Healthier. I had begun to realize that being a healthy 38 year old with an 11 year old son and a virile and brilliant husband were reason enough to move on with the foolish "I need another baby" mode. This really started happening in October or November. Now I realize that it was God working in my heart. Finally it seemed after 14 or so years that I had found a tiny portion of peace with it and was thankful for the family He had given me.

Can you see where I'm going?

On February 1st in the middle of a snow storm I discovered that a miracle had taken place. I AM PREGNANT!!!

I remember the morning so clearly. I had been feeling awful. My back hurt for days and I felt like I was going to start any day, but that any day never came! LOL. I decided that I would take the last test that I had from years ago so that when I went to the doctor later that week I could say that I knew this wasn't the problem with 100% accuracy.

So, I peed. I waited. I picked up the stick and it said "PREGNANT". I shook it a few times to see if the "Not" part of it would appear like usual. Sitting on the toilet with bed head hair and morning breath I broke down crying. All I could say were words of praise and thanks to God. Surreal.

After a super fast shower to calm myself (which totally didn't work) I went downstairs to find my hubby and tell him the news. Then I went out in the middle of a blizzard to buy another pack of tests just to make sure. :-D Everyone said the same thing: "PREGNANT!" "PREGNANT!" "PREGNANT!"

So excited!

Unfortunately in this time I had to deal with an unfortunate issue of betrayal by a close friend. Yes, after she found out that I was pregnant she began a much more intense pursual of MY HUSBAND. Note I said "more intense" because it had been going on before too. *sigh* It was messy and the details aren't worth repeating, but I think we have finally swept the trash from our lives. My hope is that she will find Jesus and then find her own man. I'm also wishing that she be covered in cold sores and hives for a few weeks...but these feelings usually fade.

So in the midst of this intense joy was this big pain in the ass. I'm torn between feelings of intense anger (because the lying, conniving whore deserves it) and genuine compassion (it must suck to be helplessly in love with a man you can't have ) as she is atheist and obviously morally compromised on multiple levels. I know---it sounds judgemental. It is. I think I deserve a crabby night or so about this. So judge me if you must. :-D Or just quit reading my blog!

The pregnancy seems to be progressing right on track. I am diabetic and have a couple of other issues (that I am sure I will eventually explain in far too much detail) that make the pregnancy high risk, but the first ultrasound showed a strong, fast heartbeat and an appropriately sized baby. Oh, and did I mention that I will be 39 when the baby comes? LOL. I didn't think my dusty uterus even WORKED! And now I'm gonna be a new old mom! *smiling*

So, what's in store? More life changes than one lucky girl should get to have in a few months' time. But I think I'm going to save these for another post! I have a feeling there's going to be lots to blog about this year!

Oh...and if you know me in real life, can you keep this a secret for about another week? :-D Okay thanks! We want to wait until after our next ultrasound to spread the good news. Which is soon, soon, soon!