Lessons from a Difficult Sunday

Ever get to a point where worship feels like work? I was there around Christmas time. It was just burdensome and I didn't enjoy it. Then one day in January, driving home from work I FELT like I needed to worship and sing right there. So, I did! It was reminescent of a time in my life when I felt CONNECTED to God. At that time I had a great desire to not just be the "song leader" at church, but to be the worship leader.

A calling?

For a great deal of my adult life in the church, I have accepted Jason's call to where we should go and what we should do as my own. I don't think this is a bad thing. It is what I felt God leading us to do. This, however, was different. This was personal.

That Sunday things changed. Okay, the music didn't change dramatically, but my heart did.

There's been a bit of drama (and by bit I mean an absolute gigantic ton) this week. Although I had felt God moving in crazy big ways for months, I doubted what was going on. What was the purpose? Why bring such great joy in my life only to have it mocked and tarnished by those I thought were close to me?

I get it now.

Its a purification fire. Sometimes in order to make great change in our lives there has to be a point when you kick out all the crap that is holding you back, the crap that brings you down and frustrates you and the crap that had no place being that important in the first place. The lighting of the fire is painful.

But what the removal of the impurities (or life crap) is doing is creating an amazing future for me and my family. Better than I could have imagined. More than I would have hoped for.